She gave me the love of Jesus that saved me

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Shouts of hallelujah and voices of joy were raised to heaven, but in the corner of church Lara withdrew and went down in her misery. Lara somewhat liked the fact that no one knew what she was going through.  She would put on her camouflage smile and “I’m Fine response” to hide the well of sorrow flooding inside. Sunday service always came as the uphill battle, praises of thanksgiving were lifted up to God and that she could do, but once the Pastor hit the preachers podium to proclaim the word of God she would feel defeated. The word of God was powerful, but not meant to save Lara from the constant battle of the mind she faced. Everyone around her seemed so strong; they were those warriors that breathed victory in any battle  so she thought. Lara couldn’t find victory and she stopped seeking after what happened to her.

As soon as service concluded, Lara would gather her things in haste ready to flee the scene of warm hugs and joyous greetings. They all meant it with love she was sure of that, but Lara feared it was yet another episode of pretense on her part. So she rushed for the door but this time there was no escape.

 She  was met by this beautiful, loving and kind Jeanine. Before she could bypass arms of love surrounded her and allowed her heavy head to rest on a gentle chest sprinkled with a wonderful scent.   
Jeanine was a kind hearted stranger Lara basically knew nothing about, but she would hug her and talk to her as though she were part of her family. Lara was known for her shy and quiet personality, it seemed as though it caused people to ignore her, but Lara never really cared. Jeanine was different, she was consistent and it baffled Lara as to why; why would she care so much as to greet someone who (then) didn’t want to know or greet anyone. Lara knew the words that would follow the kind greeting and warm loving hug were “how are you?”, so she prepared her camouflage. She put on her sweet smile and looked up to Jeanine waiting for her to ask how she was. 

The question Jeanine asked brought Lara to silence wiping away her fake smile. “What’s wrong?”, the question had no harshness, no pretence and no sarcasm could be found in it. This was one Lara could not avoid try as she would. It felt as though the well of sorrow in her had broken now raging inside of her to find release. The feeling was the same overwhelming feeling she felt when she gave her life to Jesus Christ. She stared at Jeanine’s bright smile and sparkle of love in her eyes…she was really concerned. She actually cared, she truly cared. It touched her like never before. Lara felt the drops of sorrow slowly running down her bony cheek. She quickly wiped it off hoping mom was not close to see it.
     
Mom would not only give her a sermon but a whole conference on the effects of crying on your life, never tackling the real issue.
Jeanine stood strong patiently awaiting her response. Lara longed to tell someone for so long. At that moment she felt a push to let it all out and find consolation, but…nothing followed. The fear of having to go through rejection again after all the hell she’s been through was too great. She endured so much hurt and abuse in the past and she couldn’t put herself through it again, no never. Jeanine stood still for the last what seemed to be five years then said: “Please, I can see that there’s something bothering you”. Mom came as a great escape and kindly interrupted the moment of confession. Lara promised to present the answer in the form of a letter before they concluded.

The words she put on paper seemed to have flown easier than the words from her mouth. She poured her heart out through every sentence and tears rolled down her face. She told of the wounds created by loved ones, how family rejected her, how she had been abused by someone close to her, how she felt worthless for not being able to help her family or herself and how she feels as though everyone who loves her will soon hurt her.  Though it was long back the scars of their doings remained. All the hurt she had to conceal, were staring at her in the face now.  Unaware of the unforgiveness that built up hate in her heart.

She handed the letter over to Jeanine and it felt as though a burden upon her became lighter. Lara feared how Jeanine would react after reading the letter. The next few days Lara went through some great extents to avoid Jeanine and thoughts of Jeanine’s reaction kept Lara hidden. Jeanine persevered.
She met up with Lara and instead of confronting her about the undeserved bad attitude she gave Jeanine, she wrapped her arms around Lara comforting her.
     
It was beyond what Lara expected and the overwhelming feeling arose once more, this time Lara fought the tears harder than before. She managed to hold back her tears until they departed. Lara rushed for the closest bathroom and the well of sorrow came pouring out. Jeanine not only revealed Lara’s wounds but helped her soothe them and directed her to the greatest Healer of all, Jesus Christ Our Lord. Lara had no idea as to how, but the battles in her mind became less. The hidden anger she held against her family was subsided with love. The more Lara tried to run away from Jeanine out of fear, the more Jeanine reached out to her in love and drew her near. Jeanine encouraged Lara with scriptures as she explained the message in each scripture. Jeanine went the extra mile and outwardly clothed her with beautiful and lovely accessories and inwardly uncovered all the hidden treasure God hid in her heart. Lara found a way to express these treasures and help those who were as helpless as she once was. Lara grew and many are still amazed as to how this weakling became so strong.

 She thanks God daily for sending His angel, Jeanine to help rescue her from the pit of darkness she dwelled in.  She’s grateful for the love of God. Lara doesn’t know exactly why all she does know is that a stranger came into her life and with consistent care showed her the true meaning of love. She now knew what it felt like to have a sister in Christ. Jeanine has taught her many things in life, God's word and His power in man, but the greatest lesson Lara holds to this day is that God loves us just as we are so instead of us focusing on the lies of the devil we should look unto Jesus and hold fast to His promises.


Source: Stories from the heart 



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